Dear Parent in need of some hope
HANG IN THERE
Whilst everyone else makes New Year’s resolutions and books amazing holidays it may feel optimistic just to keep going. Sometimes it’s not just a simple choice to be positive. Sometimes it’s just hard, relentless and it feels never ending.
The deal you thought you were signing up for when you became a parent and the deal you got are just worlds apart and in your darkest moments you even wonder things that you can’t possibly say. Things that if you said them, might make others question the one thing that you know is solid – your love for your family.
The love isn’t in question – it’s the realities of life that mean some days it’s just so hard and hope is all but gone and anywhere else in the world seems a better place to be than here.
SOMETIMES IT ALL JUST SUCKS
It’s ok to not enjoy it. It’s ok to feel like it sucks and those feelings are not an indication of your failure, but they can be signposts to your solutions.
Those feelings that lurk around in the dark will always feel bigger than if you shine a light on them. Keep them buried and they will fester and rot, but bring them to light and they lose their power to cause keep you down. This means reaching out for help. Parenting is too important and challenging a role to do alone. Find a safe place and let someone else share your burden.
Some seasons of family life are tough, relentlessly so and messy and complicated and that can mean feeling hurt and vulnerable. It doesn’t feel good, but it doesn’t mean it will always be this way. Find voices that will remind you of that. When it’s hard to find your own hope seek out others who will share theirs with sensitivity, wisdom and understanding. Those who have walked the tough road and can see a bit further ahead than you.
Finally, you may be standing in what feels like the pieces of a broken dream – an irreparable vision of what you had hoped for, but maybe it’s time to create something new – the most beautiful mosaic is not made from a whole, but from many broken pieces – use those broken pieces well and the bigger picture can be something very special. The beauty is birthed from the brokenness, not in spite of it. You might not see the full picture yet, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there.
Find those who will help you to see it and help you to take steps forward – baby steps are absolutely fine.
Keep looking for hope and reaching out to those who may carry it – there may not be quick fixes or easy answers, but there can be hope and that’s a force to be reckoned with. xx