As a society we seem to live with a myth that parenthood should come easily. I see time and time again how hard it is for parents to ask for help - as if knowledge of what to do with your child arrives in the delivery room and from there on in you should have it sorted.
If relationships were easy then why do so many marriages end in divorce? (106,959 opposite sex couples and 112 same-sex couples in 2016 [i]) and that’s just a small reflection of relationships among adults. Relationships are hard work and in those with our children, we have to keep being the adult even when we really don’t feel like it!
If you’ve ever made a new year’s resolution that has gone out of the window by the time spring arrives, despite your best intentions, then you will have a sense of the importance of having someone to give you a nudge in the right direction or a bit of accountability.
Setting boundaries that your children resist, being consistent, remembering to look after your own wellbeing are all so much easier when there is someone encouraging you to keep going and providing that positive accountability.
It’s not about someone telling you off for not doing things you should, but rather having those around you that spur you to keep going and stretching in the moments where you would much rather hide under the duvet with a nice glass of wine. I consistently see clients I coach rise to the challenge to complete actions they have set themselves because a coaching relationships gives them that accountability and determination to push themselves further and achieve their potential.
If you don’t have someone keeping you accountable, cheering us on, offering you perspective, insight, fresh ideas, listening and empathic support then how can you be all that you need to be to your children?
Parenthood is a lifelong commitment and one of the greatest influences we have upon another person. It also has the potential to be one of the most enriching and rewarding experiences in life yet according to a report by Action For Children in November 2017 52% parents have suffered from loneliness and of a survey of more than 2,000 more than two-thirds (68 per cent) felt they had become ‘cut off’ from friends and family since having children[ii].
Having a “village” of support for parents and children can be key to enjoying family life more. Whether it’s family, friends or, on occasions services from professionals doesn’t need to be prescribed, but whatever it looks like, ensuring that support is in place is a must.
Reflection: Who keeps you accountable and encourages you to be the best version of you?
If you find yourself wondering who your village is or needing to grow your village then you are very welcome to book a free initial 1:1 consultation to explore this more. Contact Julie on 07745 448 871